Random Shit that Annoys the Hell Out of Me, but Really Shouldn’t (Part II)
This Broad has gone primetime
Welcome to my new website! I now have my own official domain: http://www.ballsybostonbroad.com/. I hope you find my new website to be easy to navigate.
Let me just say that I am humbled by how many people have visited my blog since it was launched earlier this year, especially given that my blogging has been irregular and sporadic. Moving forward, I intend to blog at least once per week. My goal is to increase Ballsybostonbroad.com’s visibility and online presence by driving more traffic, albeit direct or indirect, to this site. Any word of mouth and/or viral plugs would be greatly appreciated in helping me attract more readers
You can now share my posts on social networks like Facebook or even sign-up to follow me on Twitter! Also, you can subscribe to my RSS feed which will notify you when I publish a new post. And of course, if you have your own blog and add me to your blogroll, just send me a note and I will surely reciprocate.
As always, thanks for reading and I hope my sarcastic social commentary on life will at the very least give you a laugh.
~Kristina
Random shit that annoys the hell out of me, Part 2
I will be honest. There are just certain things in life that annoy the shit out of me, even though deep down I am fully cognizant of the fact that they shouldn’t. I know I should not let such stupid little things aggravate me, but I can’t help it. In no particular order, the following things annoy the shit out of me:
1) Airline pilot announcements
It annoys me mid-way through a flight when an airline pilot announces over the intercom that the “winds are now coming out of the NW” and we are “cruising at an altitude of 35,000ft.” Who the hell cares what direction the winds are blowing at or how high up the plan is? What difference does it make to passengers? My only concern in a post 9-11 world is to get to my destination safely. Pilots always seem to make such useless announcements right as I am dozing off to sleep. I think that unless there is an emergency like the wheels are stuck or the co-pilot passed out, pilots should be instructed to keep quiet and concentrate on flying the plane.
2) People who read at the gym
Now I will be forthright and fully disclose that I am a bit of a gym snob. I take my workouts seriously and do not go the gym to socialize and flirt. I am there to burn calories, build muscle and increase my stamina. I think if you take the time to go to the gym, you should play by the rule: “No pain, no gain.” People should either suck-it up and work-out hard till they are red in the face, or they should just otherwise stay home. I get so irritated when I see people lackadaisically reading a newspaper on the elliptical machine or reading a Nora Roberts romance novel while peddling 2mph on the stationary bike. I mean c’mon! I wish more people would just focus on their workout performance and actually attempt to burn a sweat. In a world where free time is limited, why do some people waste their time going to the gym if they’re not going to get anything out of it?
3) Teddy at Washington Nationals games
It annoys me to watch Teddy lose the Presidents race at every Nats game. For those of you who do not live in Washington, DC, the Presidents Race is a fixture at Washington Nationals home baseball games, and has become a fan favorite during the 4th inning. Since there are rarely enough fans in attendance to actually pull off a 7th inning wave, Nats fans take pride in the Presidents Race. But not for nothing, can Nationals senior management hire a new Teddy. I don’t think he has ever won the race. He always starts out strong but then 15 yards-in slick GW or rectangle face Lincoln whisk right on by him. Who the hell is training Teddy? Give me 2 weeks with Teddy and I guarantee he will win! The “Buck Stops” here with this broad. I will “speak softly and carry a big stick” by putting ole TR through a rigorous routine of daily interval training and strict dieting.
4) The phrase “Little Boys” or “Little Girls” room
It annoys me when people try to be all cutesy and say, “I will be right back. I am just going to the little boys (or girls) room.” Umm, excuse me but it’s called a bathroom or a restroom. The phrase “little boys or girls room” sounds like something right out of a child molester’s mouth. Unless you are a cast member on the show “Little People, Big World,” please refer to the john as a bathroom or restroom.
5) People who use Facebook status updates as their personal Twitter
It annoys me when people update their Facebook status every 2 minutes. Ok, now don’t get me wrong. I update my Facebook status at least once, sometimes twice a day and I also typically post one or two news articles bitching about something. Guilty as charged, I am a Facebook addict. However, I am conscious never to post more than 2 status updates per day because that is what Twitter is for. Why don’t people understand the distinction? If you want to tell the world what you are doing every 2 minutes then use Twitter. Otherwise, it’s only proper Facebook etiquette to refrain from numerous status updates each day.
6) Overweight women and nail salons
It annoys me when I go to the nail salon and see overweight women getting their fingers and nails trimmed, repaired, scrubbed, polished…and much, much more. I know I am going to raise some eyebrows and piss some people off, but I am just being honest with this one. Let me be upfront and say I am not trying to be insensitive here, as I myself used to be overweight. But my annoyance stems from the question that if you are overweight, why the hell do you care about what your nails look like? I mean not for nothing. People will be far too focused on your back rolls and muffin top, as opposed to your French manicure. A decent mani and pedi can run a gal a pretty penny these days. If I were overweight, I would be dishing out the dough on a gym or Jenny Craig membership, rather than at the nail salon.
7) Single-men & email
Now what would this list be without me ranting on the bane of my existence—clueless single men. It annoys me when I meet a guy and give him my phone number only to have him take the pussy way out and email me (or even worse, Facebook friends me). In most cases (especially if he is cute) I oblige and exchange of a few emails back and forth. But if after the 3rd or 4th email, the guy does NOT ask me out, I get aggravated and cease communication. For crying out loud, I am not looking for a pen pal. I am looking for a potential mate. It’s very Charles Manson-esque to keep exchanges emails with a man without him suggesting a date. (Ladies remind me to add that one to “my rules for single men”)
8)Varsity Rejects
It annoys me when I encounter post-college aged kickball players that think they are “real” athletes. Now before the hate mail begins, I know there are probably a good group of kickballers who are accomplished athletes, but I am just telling you what I have recently observed. In a previous post I espoused the kickball rule “You should never, ever, ever date a kickball player unless you yourself are a kickball player. Kickball players are their own clique and should date only amongst themselves.” That aside, it annoys me when after their games, smelly kickball players swarm a bar like cops after a 50-cent concert. They completely take over the bar and walk around with attitudes like they are these great athletes. It just makes me laugh because looking at their physique it’s clear that a lot of them probably could never hack it or compete in high school sports. Rather, they are now re-living their varsity reject days through kickball. Maybe I am bitter because on more than one occasion a kickballer has spilled beer on me while attempting to carry 4 pitchers of Miller Lite back to his team or because they take-over the entire bar with their flippy cup antics. I am not trying to rain on the kickball parade. All I am saying is that perhaps some of these players should act like real athletes and focus on working out their quads and biceps, as opposed to their liver.
9) Tons of empty seats, but the person sits right next to me
It annoys me when I go to the movies or attend a sporting event and there are rows and rows of empty seats available and a person sits their ass right down next to me. I don’t get what people are thinking when they do this. Frankly, it’s creepy. Of all the seats available, why must you plop down right next to me! For Christ sake, I like my personal space and I don’t want to share the arm rests.
10) Did you find everything you were looking for?
It annoys me when I get to the register and a sales cashier asks me, “Did you find everything you were looking for?” It takes every fiber within my being to resist the urge to say, “Obviously I did, otherwise would I be standing in line to pay? Wouldn’t I still be shopping if I was looking for something else?” I just don’t get this question. More and more I find it being posed to me at registers, albeit a department store or a drugstore. Attention sales cashiers: If I still am looking for something, I would be shopping rather than twiddling my thumbs standing in line.
11) When TV news reporters ask stupid questions?
It annoys me when television news reporters ask stupid questions to everyday people during an interview. For instance, I was watching the news the other day about the flash floods and heavy rains in Georgia. A reporter on a well known “fair and balanced” news station that will remain nameless asked a man, whose home was just washed away by the torrential rains, “So how are you feeling? What thoughts are going through your head right now?” Similarly, a local DC news reporter asked the grandmother of a murder victim “What do you think about what happened to your grandson (who was gunned down in a drive-by shooting)?” Ok, what the hell is wrong with these reporters. How do you think the man feels after losing his home? Mind you this is probably a home that he worked his entire life to pay for. And how do you think the poor grandmother who lost her only grandchild feels? C’mon, it’s degrading and disrespectful to ask people such asinine and moronic questions at such a morose time in their lives.
12) When a person points out the obvious
It annoys me when a person points out the obvious to me. For instance, recently I was entering my apartment building juggling my purse, gym bag, a case of Coke Zero and 3 Giant grocery bags full of food, all the while trying to maneuver my keys to open the main door. As I made my way to the elevator, I contorted my body to hit the up button and stood patiently waiting as my arms cried in pain. As I stood their waiting for the elevator to reach the ground floor, a guy approached the elevator. A few seconds later, my phone started ringing. Now obviously I heard it but I was too focused on balancing all my shit to make the effort to reach for it in my purse. This clown then looks me directly in the eyes and says “You know your phone is ringing.”…I will leave it up to you to imagine the disgusted look on my face. I wanted to scream “Yes, you fool! Obviously I know! I just don’t want to put all my bags down to answer it!” Cripes. But instead, I just looked at him with a phony smile and replied “Yes, I know thanks.”
Well, that’s all for now folks. No doubt I will be back with another edition of “Random Shit that Annoys Me, But Really Shouldn’t” soon. Thanks to J and “Sophia” for a few ideas. And as always, I hope at least one of my rants made you crack a smile.
