Ballsy Boston Broad

As usual, I find myself compelled to comment on a few recent new items…

Cinco de Mayo 

I am sorry, but I don’t get all the hoopla over this holiday.  For Christ sake, you would think some people have never had a Corona or margarita before.  I don’t understand why America even celebrates Cinco de Mayo.  The ‘scholarly’ Wikipedia informs me this holiday celebrates the victory of 4,000 Mexican soldiers against 8,000 French forces on the morning of May 5, 1862.  Okay…I still don’t get why a minor battle that happened over 150 years ago warrants having a holiday celebration here in America.  If Americans are going to celebrate, we should be raising our beers on Alamo Day or Flag Day.  And not for nothing, Mexico has been nothing but a pain in the ass lately.  Between swine flu, drug trade and illegal immigration, we should be condemning the country not celebrating it.  I apologize upfront to the overly sensitive liberal types who I am sure were offended by this post.

Rep. Henry Waxman
Mother of god, he has to be the ugliest sitting Member of Congress.  Every picture I see of this cat I get more nauseated than the one before.  To be completely honest, I am ignorant when it comes to climate change and environmental issues.  I have no idea what the hell is going on in the House Energy and Commerce Committee, except that there seems to be some uproar about Waxman’s failure to moderate his position with respect to curbing carbon emissions.  Henry, forget your tirade against carbon emissions for a minute.  Instead, do yourself and your poor constituents, the poor souls who are forced to see your mugshot on a daily basis a favor, and get some sort of a makeover!  A toupee? Maybe some pins for those dumbo ears? An eyebrow wax?

Colin Powell
I have really come to adore this man.  Even though I was quite peeved right after he resigned as Secretary of State.  And after he left, I was a little perturbed when he criticized the Bush Administration’s decision to go into Iraq.  However, I now believe he may be the GOP’s saving grace.  He appears to be the lone voice of reason amongst a slew of buffoons like Gov. Sarah Palin, Rep. Eric Cantor and Rush Limbaugh.  In my opinion, Powell’s critique of the GOP is dead on.  If the GOP continues to alienate political moderates by bowing and catering to the fools of the ideologues and religious right, the party will inevitably suffer the same fate as the Whig or Bull Moose Party.   I really wish Powell would divorce that wife of his and run for President.  She is holding this man back from becoming the next Dwight Eisenhower.  Hey Powell I have three words for you, Attorney Raoul Felder.

Arlen Specter
Karma is a bitch, ain’t it Specter.  After switching from a Republican to a Democrat for no other good reason than his own self-interest, karma finally caught up with the spineless bastard.  Tuesday evening during a voice vote, the Senate voted to strip Specter of his 29 years of seniority, and thus effectively transforming him from one of the most senior senators to a lowly freshman on most committees.  That’s right.  He has about as much power on the Judiciary Committee as Senator Edward Kaufman…you know who he is right?  Hahaha…No doubt, this diminished status will certainly not help him in the eyes of voters.

Virgin Lips Movement
Alright, I don’t even know what to say about this “movement.”  For once, this ballsy Boston broad is speechless (well, okay only for a few seconds though).  In a nut shell, there are couples out there saving their first kiss until their wedding day.  Their wedding day!!!  So basically the most intimate things these couples do before making it official is holding hands and hugging…maybe a massage if they get a little naughty.  This is ludicrous.  No doubt this movement probably gets the endorsement of Sarah Palin.  Not surprisingly, as a result, many of these couples are sprinting to the church alter at a very young… Oh, I am sure these marriages will last about as long as Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey’s….

Manny Being Manny
Well, what am I supposed to say that I am shocked? When I heard the news I was just about as surprised as when I learned that A-Rod, Mark McGwire and Roger Clemens used anabolic steroids and human growth hormone to improve their performance.  What pisses me off the most is that it taints the Red Sox World Series wins.  But you know, rather than throw the book at him, I bet the Dodgers management and most baseball fans will just chalk it up as “Manny Being Manny.”  And I bet as soon as he hits his first homerun after returning from his 50 game suspension, fans in Dodgers Stadium will be on their feet cheering for the cheating bastard.